Team Spotlight: The Late Comers

Die Hard Bowlers,

I mentioned in a previous post that we have a tradition here at the BFBL to put the spotlight on our expansion teams.  Usually this is done much earlier in the year, but this year the league office was consumed with some eligibility questions.  As you know the BFBL offers some of the finest amateur bowling competition north of Glenwood and east of Chinden.  As such, a spot in our league is quite coveted and we must be ever vigilant for professional bowlers masquerading and amateurs.  It is a job the league office takes very seriously to project the integrity of the league (and to keep the BFBL bar tab in check).  So, when these were uncovered shortly after The Late Comers entered the league..

all the league's front office resources were put on alert to investigate the status of these "amateur bowlers".  (As a side note, if you didn't get a chance bowl the Late Comers this year, the bowling cards are dead ringers for four of the team members.  That includes Colter, who at the age of 25 is still waiting for this puberty thing to kick in).

A sampling of the back of these bowling cards was the first clue, that the league may have had it's first breach of the amateur clause that is stated quite clearly in its bylaws.  Below is just a sample:

Jake Tucker - Once rolled exactly 300 over a three game set.  The three identical scores of 100 ranked as the highlight of Jake's life.

Kelsey Merida -  Was propositioned a record 22 weeks in a row by the Shriner's over 80 bowling league.  It turns out that two bits doesn't go as far as it did during the Taft administration.

Colter Kamo - Recently graduated to using an 8 pound ball as the 25 year old finally cracked the 45 pound mark in the bench press.

Matt Maneely - Calls his ball the Green Beetle.  Was recently released from the Fruitland Psychiatric Hospital after treatment for having a condition called bowling psychosis (also was treated for an addiction to bowling alley skanks that can only open one eyelid). 

It's tough to imagine anything so spectacular being said about regular amateur bowlers. 

Added to the bowling card evidence, the remaining two Late Comers, Kelsey Crockett, and Katie Johnson have one of the most unusual tattoos that the league has ever seen.  Description won't do it justice, but imagine a tramp stamp spread across two lower backs standing side by side.  Both halves together complete a triangle that is complete with 10 bowling pins.  As if that weren't enough further down on Katie is another tattoo of a black bowling ball.  I'll let you figure out exactly what body part was covered / used to provide some very realistic detail on the ball.

All of this added together made the league office very suspicious about the status of the Late Comers as a team.

It was only when the BFBL league accountant informed the investigative team that the Late Comers check hadn't bounced that a ruling was reached that allowed the Late Comers to bowl.