Saturday, November 29, 2014

Congratulations Gutter Done

Season 10 is the books and congratulations are due.  Gutter Done are your champions.  Captain Donny immediately tried to take the Ridgway trophy to the men's room.  His teammates were able to corral him before that though for a picture.

For the rest of you, the final standings are.

2nd Place: Sore Dicks
3rd Place: Cheenkz & Cracka
4th Place: Stop Looking At Our Balls
5th Place: Glory Bowl
6th Place: Money Balls
7th Place: Moustachio Balls
8th Place: The Hot Karls
9th Place: It'
DFL: I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter

Have a great off season, everybody.  Thanks for a great season.  See you next fall.....

Night Of Champions Preview

I can't believe it.  Here we are only a couple of weeks past our final night, and we are already at the Night of Champions preview.  It's been a strange year at the BFBL.  A lot of roster changes have made this the most wide open season in recent memory.  As it always is on the Night of Champions, you can throw out the regular season standings.  If you win your NOC match you finish ahead of the team you beat.  For the Championship match, that's great.  For the DFL match, win or lose its tough to wash the suck of your bowling jersey.  On with the previews:

The Championship Match: Gutter-done vs. The Sore Dicks

Half of this matchup might have been expected.  Gutter Done has been in the Championship match before (they lost, but at least they'd been there).  The Dicks on the other hand have been a second division team since entering the league.  This year though has been unpredictable and after an extensive roster overall Sore Dicks captain is optimistic.  Talking with the league office, captain Mark Tate was pretty emphatic with this quote "A 'W'?  Shit, once I figure out what that is, I'll guarantee one of those."  Dumbfounded in his response, Gutter captain Donny Heck only had this to say; "How the hell can we lose to those guys?  Everybody knows that 'W' stands for worthy."  Thank god bowling alley's no longer force anybody to keep score manually.

The 3rd Place Match: Stop Looking at Our Balls vs. Cheenkz and Cracka

Two of the oldest franchises in the BFBL, I am obligated by league rules, to remind everybody that Cheenkz and Cracka have actually won a championship in this league last decade.  I am also obligated to remind everybody that the franchise name at the time was Watery Poop.  For stop looking, they may have finally found how to harness their considerable bowling skill.  Either that, or they have been buying beer for the two kids behind the counter at Westy's to help their weekly pin total.  

The 5th Place Match: Glory Bowl vs. Money Balls

Somehow one year after winning it all, Glory Bowl has sunk to fighting for 5th place.  Glory Bowl captain Brett might not have the strongest calendar skills.  "Once we win this 5th place match, we'll come back next week and win the 3rd place match".  Money Balls will have to fight the imaginary momentum that Glory Bowl is bringing.  Lance, Blake and Kaitlyn Ritchie had an answer for this, but since it was in the form of a family theme song, I quickly walked away.

The 7th Place Match: The Hot Karls vs. Moustachio Balls

Karl Captain Tom Mogensen, summed up the feeling of the team with this quote; "This is just sad".  One the other side of the alley, Moustachio captain Carrie Colby, couldn't have been more effusive.  "Awesome, I can't believe we get to bowl another week.  And for it to be for 7th place.  I mean what could be more exciting?  I didn't even know they kept track of things all the way to 7th place."

DFL: It's Too Big For My Body vs. I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter

As always, this is sucks vs. super sucks.  As a side note, after an investigation there was nothing to the rumors that It's Too Big For My got penalized for their team name.

Week 5 Results

Week 4 Results

This is about the week I noticed that the standings were published from 1st to last.  The Karls would have started bribing the Westy's staff a lot earlier.

Week 3 Results

Week 2 Results

Week 1 Results

... And let the complaining about handicaps begin