Well we are off and running bowlers. Week 1 is over and as always chaos was the order of the day. A few things to get out of the way, before we get to the week 1 standings. First, the BFBL now is has its own blog. Yes, like many of you I didn’t think any of the internets would last longer than the parachute pants fad, but after 6 years of bowling the league office thought it was time to join the 20th century. I hope it warms everybody’s heart to know that the increase in league dues not only went to increased bowling costs, but has also allowed the league office to hire an IT department. Our Sr. intern Horace Grumbly comes to us with 5 years of high school word processing on his resume and the distinction of being the first homeless man on the greenbelt to have a Blackberry. Our Jr. intern in charge of charging the league laptops and washing pint glasses is Rory Redlawn. Rory comes us with a triple major from Cal Poly in Computer Science, Neuro-Social Networking and Multi-threaded Group Sociology. Lucky for us the job market stinks for recent grads and plugs nowadays have a fat prong and normal sized prong. Now, I’m sure you veterans are asking yourself, how is my extra $2 and the blog benefiting me over the email updates from last year. The answer is not much. Basically the league took the email content and posted it on this website. Then we added the graphic of the bowling pins and the picture, which I think are both pretty sharp.I wouldn’t expect more (or lengthier) communication from the league, but at least now you’ll be able to access the weekly update anywhere you can get to the internet.
A couple of messages before we get to the results. First, thank you to everybody for meeting in the bar and returning your shoes untied. This is the first opening night that I can remember that somebody from the Westy’s staff or another league didn’t come over and lecture me on bowling etiquette, foul language or how someday all the guys in our league won’t be able to wear shorts and boxers together because their sacs’ will hang out the bottom. Secondly, there was a lot of questions around the handicap system. I’ll touch on that a bit later, but I wouldn’t hold your breath that you’ll get all your answers. I will say that the handicaps seemed to be working. No team swept all 3 points in their match last week. Another phenomenon that I can’t remember ever happening. With that, the results after week 1 are below.
The league’s top story from week 1 was match between Stop Looking at My Balls and Kum Ichi my Ballz. At the top of the headlines over the off season were all the stories about the Ballz dabbling in the free agent market. After whiffing on signing Brett Farve and his sister (who is often described in proper circles as “dealing with some minor Meth issues”), the Ballz raided the other Balls roster and poached Becca Powell and Katee Dodge. At their press conference Becca and Katee were all smiles and remarked several times that it will be much easier to bowl now that they no longer have to do it riding Hoover or Teeter’s back. Asked for a rebuttal, Balls team captain Bret Hoover had this to say, “look I’m not happy that Betsy and Karen left our team so suddenly with the season about to begin. Do you know how hard it is to convince two girls to join a bowling team? I can tell you it is very difficult for a guy who looks like me. I had more girls take out their cell phones to call the cops.” Asked how he eventually did fill the spots, captain Hoover had this to say. “Well I sent Teeter, who would be our Face Man if we were the A-Team, downtown at 2:30 AM on a Saturday night. Any girl, that accepted his offer of a free ride and didn’t yak in his car before he covered 3 blocks was offered the job.” The league office hasn’t been able to confirm the rumors that Jamie Dillon and Casey Lynne accepted their offers before Teeter dropped them off 3 blocks from downtown.
Finally a word on handicaps. For the few of you who didn’t ask me a question about handicaps on Thursday, I will repeat the only answer I gave. I have no idea. I suppose if I were a real bowling league commissioner I would have researched all the ins and outs of the handicap system and had answers for you, but I’m not, so if you want answers try typing Bowling Handicaps into http://www.google.com/. I’m told it is the 2nd most popular site on the Information Super Highway. Right after http://beerframebowling.blogspot.com/. If that doesn’t help, I’m pretty sure if your team knocks down a lot of pins, picks up their spares and sprinkles in the occasional turkey you’ll have nothing to worry about. That and beer always tastes good.
See everybody Thursday in the bar.
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