Night of Champions Preview

Well it’s the night that every bowler looks forward to all week long.  The Night of Champions is upon us and for one team; the glory of being called Beer Frame Bowling League Champion will be bestowed at the end of the evening.  As a quick reminder, tonight’s matches are winner take all.  With that let’s get to the match previews:

The Championship Match:  The Gutter Sluts v. The Three Hole Enthusiasts

This will be a grudge match.  Both teams have multiple BFBL Championships at their team headquarters.  The Gutter Sluts are looking to repeat and claim their 3^rd title.  The Three Holes are looking to prove that they aren’t as over the hill as they look.  Odds makers in Jackpot are giving this match to the Three Holes, citing the number of newbies on the Sluts versus the Three Holes grizzled (very grizzled) veterans.

The 3^rd Place Match: Forkin’ Balls v. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Gutter

These two teams entered the league together last year, and both have shown remarkable improvement.  The experts have this match hinging on the performance of Jodi LaBrie.  If she’s throwing stones for Forkin Balls, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Gutter doesn’t have a chance.  Scott Whipps from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Gutter had this add “If we bowl like shit, we’re going to lose”.  Truer words were never spoken.

The 5^th Place Match: Chinqs and Crakaz! v. The Moustachio Balls

To long time BFBL franchises slugging it out for mediocrity.  For the Moustachio Balls, it would be there best finish.  For the Chinqs win or lose it will confirm once again that changing your name does not yield results.  Bring your singles Moustachio Balls.  Picking up spares can be a lucrative side gig while you’re blowing the Crakaz.

The 7^th Place Match: The Licketty Splits v. Glory Bowl

This will be a matchup of BFBL rookies.  The Licketty Splits experienced significant turnover in the off season and Glory Bowl is new this year.  The crucible of the Night of Champions can melt even the stoutest of character.  Luckily for these two teams it’s the 7^th place match and as Joe Namath once famously said; “Nobody ever got laid finishing 7^th”.

The 9^th Place Match: The Hot Karls v. Gutt-er Done

This is where the matches are almost not worth analyzing.  9^th place would be the worst finish for either of these franchises.  For what it’s worth, the BFBL internet chat boards are giving this one to the Karls.  They are also putting 4 to 1 odds that Greg Swenson will pull a hamstring celebrating yet another stellar 9.

DFL Match: Stop Looking at our Balls v. The Sore Dicks

Unofficially this match is always referred to as Sucks versus Really Sucks.  Both of these teams are no stranger to this match.  The outcome will depend on the rolling of Jerret Hopstad.  Will he be inspired by his 5 day old daughter and bowl over his head?  Or, will he so sleep deprived and only be going through the motions?  This of course is on the assumption that he’ll show up at all.

Everybody’s hard work all year long has come down to tonight.  I’ll see everybody at Westy’s.